When did you last look at your loved one really closely? When was the last time you looked at a situation you were struggling with, and really studied it closely?
We often hear in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) that slower is better. Slower is better, because the more we slow down, the more emotion is allowed to the surface, and therefore, the more we can expand experience. Expanding experience allows us to see new things, and when we see and feel new things, we communicate this in different ways and this calls for new responses. This can lead to change in EFT.
I came across a video of my children a couple days ago, and I hit slow mo on my camera by accident, eliciting this video. As I sat and watched the video, I was amazed to see these kids. They just looked beautiful in this moment, and I noticed so many little intricacies about them. It was a special moment, as I attuned more closely, saw them a little more clearly, and appreciated them a little more nearly.
So I encourage you today, to look at those you love and slow things down, try to see them in slow mo. When last did you really look at the person you love, and notice something new about them? If you’re struggling as you work with clients, consider videotaping your session, and slow it down. Stop and play, consider, listen again and again.
On a personal note, my children are struggling with sibling rivalry. After writing this blog, I realized that I need to stop and slow down, and really just listen to what is happening between them. The more I study the situation, the better I will understand what is going wrong, and the better chance I have of responding with a successful intervention.