A WIFE HOLDS THE KEY TO HER HUSBAND’S HEART

A WIFE HOLDS THE KEY TO HER HUSBAND’S HEART

by | Nov 16, 2009 | Couples in Therapy, Therapy

I witnessed the power of a marital relationship, even though it was a marriage that has been struggling. I was sitting with a husband who had an abusive past. He is not able to cry about it even though he has so much sadness caught up inside. Instead the sadness comes out in anger and hurts those around him. I worked with him for a good 20 minutes to try to get him to feel the hurt. I couldn’t.

As he was sitting and recounting some of his childhood history his wife began to weep. He turned and asked her what she was crying about, and she said she was crying for him, for his pain. As she wept, he began to weep too.

Finally we were able to access his sadness, and he was then able to share it with her and let some of it go.

I love it when loved ones join us in therapy, it is so much more powerful.

Image via Thomas Barwick-Taxi/Getty Images

BROTHERS BONDING

by | Jul 22, 2009 | Office Updates

I got to spend the afternoon with two middle-aged brothers who were reflecting on their childhood. They grew up in a very difficult household and both were affected deeply in their own ways. It was amazing to see the healing that came to them both as they were able to share their memories and see them validate each others experiences. Too often siblings who grow up in a conflictual family are set against each other and they grow apart as a result. Here was a case of the siblings becoming emotionally close after many years. Having survived the same family they relate to each other in a very special and deep way. It was an honour to sit with them and to be a part of their process.

Tags: brothers, bonding

AM I GOSSIPING WHEN I VENT IN THERAPY?

AM I GOSSIPING WHEN I VENT IN THERAPY?

by | Jul 22, 2009 | Emotions, Therapy

A young woman said something so profound to me today. She told me that what she loves about therapy is that the therapist doesn’t know any of her friends or colleagues. This allows her to talk about her life and her experiences freely. If the therapist had known her environment, then she would have felt like she was “gossiping”.

You see the difference is that you don’t just come to therapy to gossip or talk for the sake of talking. You come to talk so that you can learn about yourself, your responses and so that you can work on ways to change. So you are probably not gossiping when you’re in therapy, and if you are – find a friend instead and stop paying the therapist 🙂