Books Reviews
SUZAN recommends:
“Hiding from Love” by Dr. John Townsend --
This book basically outlines different ways that people “hide” from life and relationships. It discusses life incidents that cause us to develop these hiding tactics and helps you to see how to start changing.
WHY: Most of my life, I had felt isolated, “different” and alone even when surrounded by people. I had suppressed so many of my feelings that I was emotionally disconnected from others and from life. When I picked up a copy of this book, I thought I was a fairly open person and reading it revealed to me how much I had been hiding and how deep my problems were. I finally started to understand why I am the way I am and that I needed to change. This book helped me to define my problems and to realize that they were solvable. Because of this book, I sought professional help.
“Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child” by John Gottman,
-- The jest of this book for me was how to raise your child in such a fashion that he is the master of his emotions.
WHY:Having read a plethora of books on child rearing, many of them strike me as “how to” books. For me, this book dealt with a core principle all parents should use when raising children, empathy. I now realize that developing empathy (which was lacking in my childhood) will help me to develop more intimate relationships with adults as well as with my child. This book outlines how to develop this skill and I greatly appreciate the knowledge. Now, I just need to try developing it. J
“The Dance of Intimacy” by Harriet Lerner –
I had no idea what true intimacy was. This book provides excellent insight and I would recommend it for anyone that wants to improve their relationships with people. This book points out the steps you and your loved ones go through when trying to develop a more intimate relationship. It was a very thought provoking read.
“Finding your Own North Star” by Martha Beck --
I am in the process of reading this book and I love it. It provides insight as to how to regain your emotional compass in life (how to allow your emotions to emerge, how to regain control of your emotions, and how to manage your emotions). There are practical applications for dealing with fear, grief, anger, and joy. Until reading this book, I did not realize how much your physical body can be affected when you shut down your emotions. She provides ways to get in touch with your whole self and how to use this knowledge to guide you toward a more fulfilling life.
I should also mention that I have read many of the books written by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. Each one has provided bits and pieces that have helped me to put the puzzle together. With all these books and “new” information, I needed someone to provide me with objective feedback, someone to help me to organize my thoughts and someone to listen to me without judging. I sincerely thank Kathryn for being that person. Her insight and thought provoking questions have been invaluable. I am deeply grateful to her.
If anyone is afraid of taking that first step to get help, I would like to encourage you to do so. NOW! I regret not getting professional help earlier in life.
TERI recommends:
Endurance: Shackleton's Incredible Voyage by Alfred Lansing -
This is a true adventure story of Ernest Shackleton's ill-fated trip to Antarctica and how he and his entire crew survived for two years on floating ice after their ship was crushed.
Maiden Voyage by Tanya Abei -
Another true story, this book is about a 19-year-old girl who accepts her father's challenge to sail around the world alone. She conquers fear and finds confidence and maturity along the way.
The Glass Castle: A Memoir by Jeannette Walls -
This memoir is an amazing account of an eccentric, dysfunctional family and how the children cope and learn to fend for themselves. At times, you want to congratulate the parents on their creative parenting, then you turn the page and find yourself wanting to shake some sense into them.
FOR: For adults facing the unknown
WHY: When I face challenging situations, especially those involving fear of the unknown, each of these books come to mind and I think, if they could survive that, then I can definitely survive this. My husband also read and enjoyed each of these books. All are page-turners that we couldn't put down.
And then for young children, boys or girls:
Skippyjon Jones by Judith Byron Schachner - A fun-to-read-aloud picture book
about a kitten who thinks he is a chihuahua. Skippyjon Jones in the Doghouse is also a
great read!
Wild About Books by Judy Sierra - A rhyming, picture book in the Dr. Seuss fashion
about a book mobile that takes a wrong turn and ends up at the zoo, eventually bringing
an appreciation of books to the animals there.
I Love You, Stinky Face by Lisa McCourt - A wonderful board book about a mother's
unconditional love for her child
Jolly Roger and the Pirates of Abdul the Skinhead by Colin McNaughton - Since
this book is a bit longer than the others, I recommend it for children 8 to 10, especially
boys. Another fun-to-read-aloud book, this one is for pirate lovers!
I Love My Bible by Debby Anderson. We just discovered this book. I recommend it
for ages 4 to 8. It teaches about why the Bible is so special.
BARBARA
RECOMMENDS: Film on DVD: Dear Frankie
Starring: Emily Mortimer, Gerard Butler, Sharon Small, Jack McElhone (105 minutes)
Rating: PG-13 Parents strongly cautioned (for language)--eg. one playground sex joke, one 5-minute abusive tirade using the f- word and b**tch,
Scottish dialect is sometimes hard to understand but film offers the option of English subtitles. which helps until you get used to the accent.
Won Best International Picture winner at 2004 Los Angeles Film Festival
"A warm, winning film with pitch-perfect performances"--Leonard Maltin, "Two Thumbs up"--Ebert and Roeper "Funny and touching" --Rolling Stone
ABOUT:
Nine-year-old Frankie Morrison and his mother, Lizzie, have been mysteriously on the move since Frankie was a baby, most recently arriving in a seaside Scottish town. Lizzie is keeping a secret which gradually unfolds as the film progresses. Wanting to protect her deaf son from the truth that they've run away from his abusive father, Lizzie has invented a story that he is away at sea on the cargo ship Accra. Every few weeks, posing as his father, Lizzie writes Frankie a letter, telling of his nautical adventures and including stamps for Frankie's stamp collection. Frankie tracks the ship's progress around the globe and, one day, discovers that it is due to dock in his hometown. Lizzie must choose between telling Frankie the crushing truth or finding a perfect stranger with no past and no future to play an ideal father for Frankie for just one day... (paragraph modified from Pathe)
WHY: One of my absolute favorite films! This is a European-paced wonderfully crafted and finely nuanced film to be watched and rewatched many times. Touching, humorous and authentic, it is rich in answering the questions: What is fatherhood and what is forgiveness? My husband also loves this film and calls it a "man's chick flick"-- it rings true in its portrayals of boyhood and manhood alongside an architype portrayal of a man and a woman, epitomized in a slow dance and a moving kiss. The grade school children here are completely real--you forget they are acting. Powerful, powerful perfomances on all sides by every single member of the cast! You end up deeply caring for these characters and learning about life from them. I watched this film with a friend who is a professor working with the deaf community, and is herself a divorced mom with a son. We stayed up all night discussing the issues and the art of this film..
ESME’S choice:
'Someone I love is Gay' by Anita Worthen and Bob Davies
FOR WHOM: This book is really helpful to parents, pastors and leaders. It if filled with biblically grounded guidance seasoned by years of ministry 'in the trenches' with gay persons and their beloved ones. It is written at a practical and understandable level and preset an array of realistic stories from real life.
WHY: During my struggle over these issues I could draw on the experiences of others. It helped me to handle the feeling which developed in me..try to understand my hurt. Finding out that my child is a homosexual was a 'close to death' experience. I did not know how to cope. Reading this book gave me insight.
MAIRE’S Choice:
The Power of a praying wife – Stormie Omartian
In this book Omartian encourages wives not to give up when seemingly faced by the impossible. She shares from her own experience how God has demonstrated to her how powerful prayer is. Omartian challenges wives not to point fingers and critisize their husbands but to rather understand their own role in lifting their husbands up to God in prayer daily.
She gives handles as to areas one can pray into as well as scriptures that one can speak and meditate on. An altogether very powerful and encouraging book.
WHY: This book has certainly challenged my own thinking. I was astounded when I started reading the first chapter and couldn’t get far without the full realisation that my own heart needed changing before I could possibly imagine trying to pray for my husband She challenges one in such a soft and reassuring way. I have found this book has really helped me see things in God’s perspective. It has filled me with hope and an excitement to see what God can do in another,s life through prayer. If one commits to praying for your husband God will change his heart as well as yours. It’s a wonderful experience!!!!