MAY 2008: SEPARATION ANXIETY
Separation Anxiety: Is it OK to need somebody, and just how far can I take it?
RADIO BROADCAST
Have you ever been bombarded with the message that:
You have got to be independent!
You have to rely on yourself and make it on your own!
I couldn’t disagree more. This concept of autonomy leads to loneliness, disconnected families and creates unnecessary pressure on our children today. I believe that we all instinctually desire closeness with other people. I think that dependency is an innate part of who we are. I am saddened when others see it as a lack of maturity.
It is when people draw close to loved ones for emotional closeness that they can be most secure in themselves and their relationships. People with this secure attachment can then go out and have great success in being self-reliant. In other words - being dependent fosters independence.
At different stages and ages throughout life, humans can develop separation anxiety. This means people are deeply fearful about letting go of a loved one. And so they cling for dear life.
Some of these stages include:
INFANTS AND TODDLERS
BECOMING A TEENAGER - THE PULL AWAY- DRAW NEAR PHENOMENON
LAUNCHING - GOING OFF TO COLLEGE
DATING RELATIONSHIPS - CONSTANT HELLO’S AND GOODBYE’S
MILITARY DEPLOYMENTS
SHIFT WORKERS
GRIEF AND DEATH OF PARENTS - SAYING GOODBYE TO THOSE YOU LOVE
We want to stay close to those we love. This need serves an important function - it keeps us connected! It protects us from being too independent too soon!
Of course for those parents of children with clinical separation anxiety, you will also have experienced how excruciating it is to deal with this irrational fear. Navigating through these fears is very challenging!
I will be speaking on Separation Anxiety on Tuesday evening. Please tune in to KPRZ to hear the show. You can also contribute to the discussion by calling in to the show with your questions and comments.
KPRZ: 1210 AM
SHOW: Living Well
DATE: Tuesday evening, May 27th
TIME: 7 - 8 PM
LISTEN LIVE: http://www.kprz.com/